What?

REALLY?! has it really been 10 days since I blogged on here, apparently it has.  Where have I been doing all this time, you may ask?  We'll let's see...

For my birthday Clint took me out to eat and to the temple, that was the 9th.  Then Conner got sick and I only managed to get to the gym 3x last week and so far once this week.  The boys are still sick, but Conner is getting better.  Corbin's cough is getting worse and I might take him in tomorrow after the gym.

I ran today, really ran and for the first time in 4-5 months it didn't hurt my foot and it still doesn't hurt.  That means I can start training for the 1/2 marathons I want to do.

Oh the Stuffyness

So I'm still really congested and can hardly breathe unless I'm at the gym and A is kicking my butt.  I had a great wkout this morning and I even managed to loose some weight over the last week.  My weight loss from the week previous had been jaded by the fact that I hadn't eaten anything in oh 24 hrs.  So I gained some and now I've lost some again.  This is a good thing though b/c it's not false weight loss.

We did the measure and weigh in this morning.  After months of nothing I have some results, finally.  Here we go..
This is from 10/3/11--        This is from today 11/7/11

• Weight 243.5              Weight 236.5
• BF % 41.4                  BF % 41
• Waist 46                     Waist 45.5
• Hip 51.75                   Hip 51.25
• R Quad 25                  RQ  24
• L Quad 26                  LQ  25.5
• R Bicep 17.5               RB  17.25
• L Bicep 17.5               LB  16.75
• Chest 50.5                  Chest  48.5

That is a 7 LB weight loss from last month and I've shrunk in all the right places.  The big change in the chest is due to not nursing as much as before.

Sick

I haven't been to the gym since Thursday because we have been so busy at our house.  Sat I was going to go early, but then when I looked up the time it opened on line, it didn't open until we needed to be heading out the door for Boo at the Zoo.  Later that day we got family pics done and by the time night hit I was full blown sick with the flu.  I cancelled my appointment with Ashley on Monday morning b/c I was sure I was going to die on Sunday.  Now it's Wednesday and I feel better, not 100%, I wouldn't even go as far as saying 85%, but tomorrow I'll go back and do a wkout with A and then maybe Friday, depending on how I feel, I'll do some light cardio.

On a good note, I weighed myself and either my scale is broke or I lost 9 lbs over last week, either way, I'll take it.  It makes me feel better any way.

Some advice from A

Move more. Exercise is about the body in motion. A body that moves keeps a mind motivated. Get rid of excuses and thoughts that you need to be in fantastic shape in order to exercise. The longer you wait, the longer it will be before you have more energy and reach fitness.


Occupy your mind. If you have drifted into a "same old day" routine you may be helping to keep negative thoughts alive. A narrow focus leads to an unbalanced view about what may not be right in your life. It's time to refocus and get involved so you don't dwell on problems. Nobody's life is perfect so when you take part in activities or learning your mind is exercised. This leads to positive thoughts and habits so you stay youthful.


Take control. Today's lifestyles are demanding and can sidetrack you. If you do not consciously put a plan into play for good health, life happens to you instead of the other way around. People who have had the most success with wellness have regular routines for healthy eating, exercise and stress management. Don't let your lifestyle sabotage your desire to live a full, healthy life.


Investigate you. Spend time understanding what influences what you do and what is really important to you. This is a healthy first step in order to change for the better. Take a little time to sort things out, look at your routine and see what gets in the way of what you really want to happen. This is an important part of a plan that will be long lasting, meaningful and keep your interest.


Vary your routine. Keep it fresh, exciting and fun. Break free of an old dieting mentality and mindset. Participate in many types of activities and try new foods. These techniques help you to stay inspired and give you the incentive to go the distance. This will prevent you from getting bored and going back to old habits.


Accept yourself. Comparing yourself to others leads to negative thoughts and unhappiness. These are mind games that ultimately make you unhappy and make you feel like you are getting nowhere. The sooner you recognize your strengths and believe in yourself, the better you will be.


Talk to someone. Know who you can trust and confide in. When you tell others what bugs you and what you would like to do, they can be there for you. They can remind you what is important and help you to stay motivated.


Increase your health budget. Evaluate what the costs are to achieving good health. Spend your time and money wisely and make sure you are getting the most out of your program. When you preset a time for exercise and meal planning and lock-in money that will be used to help your personal care it makes it easier for good things to happen. This advance planning becomes a driving force and helps you to keep at it.


Observe others. Take a look at people who are eating healthfully and who exercise regularly. When you see others who have positive lifestyles it is easier to copy what works and fit it in to your situation. Connect with good habits, they are contagious and help inspire you to great things.


Nourish not neglect. A "new you" starts with nutrition. Food is our fuel so eating right will keep your mind sharp and lead to positive thoughts and actions. Missing meals and fad dieting can zap energy and moti
You can do it! Small steps for big results!vation. This can lead to an overeating seesaw and make you frustrated. Don't fight with food; let it work for you so you can enjoy life to its fullest!

3000

The last two days I have burned 3000+ calories and have had a deficit around 1000.  Today looks to be the same.  I thought this would be hard to do again, but it hasn't been as difficult as I thought.  I haven't been really hungry, just want munchies and as long as I keep my munchies within my calorie range it's not that bad.

Last night was our trunk or treat at the church and I was supposed to provide 2 dozen cupcakes.  All the cupcakes got eaten except for one and as I was walking to the car to go home I had a pretty serious debate with myself on whether or not I was going to eat it.  I ate it and you know what it wasn't all that satisfying.  It tasted good, I mean how can a chocolate fudge cupcake with chocolate icing NOT taste good.  It left me not satisfied and a little guilty feeling.  However, it was a good experience for me, my body rebelled after the cake was done and didn't like it at all.

Now I just need to get more sleep ad I should be doing better than I have been EVER, at least since I had a baby. (=

Holidays

As far as eating healthy Halloween does nothing to help.  I can't tell you how tempting it is to have candy at the house or doughnuts at parties.  This kind of thing makes me want to lock myself and the children in the house until it passes us by.  But then we have Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years then it's Valentines day.  In my life all these holidays have equaled two things, lots of food and lots of junk.  How to by pass all of this and still stay on the right track?  That is the trick question.  In the wise words of a trainer I don't know but follow, "have a piece of candy, don't deny yourself.  It'll only end in over indulging in the end".  So if I want one I'll have one, in moderation of course.  Also, it's helping me to find substitutes.  Fruit is so much better for me and while it doesn't replace the chocolate I crave, it helps to curve the sweet craving I have.  And, if I want chocolate I just make sure it's dark.  I'll try posting my helpful tips as I come across them.

BTW, I ended yesterday with a calorie burn of 3395 and a deficit of 1500+.  This shouldn't have happened, when burning so much I should have eaten at least 2000.  As long as it averages out by the end of the week, I should be okay.  I know some of you are thinking that I should be supper excited that the deficit is so large, and I am happy about #'s, but if the deficit is too large than your body goes into starvation mode and you end up not helping, but harming yourself.

Mondays

They come too soon and make me rise too early.  They are usually the thing I look forward to the least and as my body creeks while getting out of bed it's also the day that reminds me we are starting all over again with the daily stuff. Today was different though, today I saw the morning as an opportunity rather than as an obstacle.  I saw today's workout as a way to overcome emotions that have been building rather than using it to add to the burdens.  I talked with Ashley honestly rather than hiding behind truths.  I went back after I dropped K off at school rather than getting trapped in my house.

I would say today has been a good day so far.

Starting over with eating

So, this isn't really starting over, it's just a re-commitment to eating right.  So because I want this new life and I WANT to be better about logging my food and all the good stuff that comes with it I'm starting the BL 30-day challenge all over again.  I never finished doing it last time because, like everything else I have done up to this point, I wasn't really committed.

This is how I'm doing it... I make up a list of foods I need to purchase at the store on Sat, then go pick it up.  I make up anything that needs to be cooked before or cut up any veggies that I will need when I get home.  By doing this I won't have any excuses to not cook what I have planed.  I would say 9 times out of 10 I don't cook what I have planned simply because I want something fast and easy to make.

At the end of the week I'll report what I have done and eaten and hopefully some of it will end up on my recipe page.

BTW there is new info on the Nutrition page that you might find helpful.

Being called out

Having your crap called out to you is never any easy thing to go through.  It is, however, necessary to the growth and change of any person.  Change is never easy, and anyone who tells you otherwise is just lying to you.  It takes an addict it's whole life to maintain the change its transformation and to even get to the point where they WANT to change is another story all together.  Why do we think that a person who is overweight can just decide one day to stop all their bad habits and loose the weight?  They CAN'T.  The truth is they are an addict.  They have to go through the same life altering change as a drug user or an alcoholic.  Their maintenance regime has to be the same.  It has to be an every day choice and sometimes an every second choice to NOT eat the food that they go to.  I know from experience that sometimes the food doesn't taste good, and you know it's not good for you, but you eat for the sake of eating.  For purely the motion of putting something into your mouth, for the feast of the addiction; it's not a thought out process, most of the time.  What will follow is the guilt and the shame of doing something you knew was wrong and doing it anyway.  What comes next is the addict's choice to continue with the sabotaging behavior or moving past it and recognizing it for what it is and making an effort to NOT go there again...again and again and again.  The choice is never done, it always has to be made.  As soon as you think you have it mastered you start to loose, not because you now suddenly make a bad choice, but because you are not fighting as hard, you think you don't have to.

This is where I am.  I WANT to loose weight and yet here I sit around the same weight I have sat at for a year now.  I go to the gym , I work out with a trainer and yet nothing has changed.  So today Ashley called me out.  I was so tired and fatigued from the workout that I started to cry.  I let go of my walls and let her in and said something that even shocked me,  "I'm scared".  Here is the truth for all of you who read this, I'm putting it out here so that I can read and look back to see that maybe this was my turning point.  I am scared to loose the weight and then gain it all back and have to start over again.  The silliest part of this fear is I didn't really know it was there and now that I have voiced it, it seems like a silly idea.  If someone were to say this to me I would say, "So what if you gained he weight back, look at what you have learned and now apply it."  I would be and have been encouraging to them to fight the good fight.  Don't give up.

Here is what I have learned today through the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father, that he loves me.  This fear I feel is not of Him is is of the adversary. I CAN do this, and I don't have to fear.  I DO have to take it a moment at a time though and realize that is bigger than myself.

the weekend

We celebrated Corbin's birthday over the weekend.  I made a cake and cup cakes for it.  I looked at frosting recipes and it seemed like everyone used butter cream.  So I made it...can I say GROSS!  Seriously all the frosting is made from is Crisco shortening and powdered sugar with a little bit of butter flavoring and vanilla flavoring, and I'm not taking about real vanilla either.  I had to taste it to make sure it tasted ok for the guests, but I felt gross for eating it.  Then, after tasting it so much I didn't think about what was in it and just ate it anyway.  How many times do we do that, we know something is bad for us yet we consume it anyway?!  FRUSTRATING!  I need to do some additional research to find frosting that isn't so unhealthy for you.  I know it's going on a cupcake, but does it have to be so gross?

All this is leading up to my point.  I feel gross today after eating so much crap yesterday.  So we ate a nice salad for lunch and a turkey burger for dinner with some steamed squash.  I feel better after eating a bit healthier.  I just hope my weigh-in tomorrow isn't ridiculously high.  Better go drink some water.

October here I come

Just got home from wking out with Ashley.  We did a circuit that was difficult and I am feeling very tired.  Frustrated and feeling a little tired of this whole thing, I keep going back because I know results are within my reach.

My BL moment

There I was standing in the middle of classroom at the gym, which consists of mirrors all the way around the room, and women start coming in.  Soon there are about 10 different people in there all are skinny and then I spot the instructors, beautiful.  As the music starts they start moving in ways I haven't since before I had kids.  All the other woman look great doing what they are being shown.  I am trying to keep up and then I spot her, the fat girl.  She's in the mirror and I look around the room to see if anyone else sees her too.  I think they are all busy trying to keep up too so they don't see what I see, at least I hope they don't.  I look back at the girl in the mirror; as I watch her move and struggle to keep up with the others in class I suddenly feel like I'm on the BL.  That fat woman is me and I am way not what I picture in my head.  It was a harsh reality check.

What happened to September?

I didn't mean to skip this month entirely.  It's been a bit busy, I know surprise surprise.  I get measured in the morning and weighed so we'll see how far I have come in a month.  I've been canning all month and helping out at Kaily's school.  I have not been keeping track of my food nor have I made it to the gym like I wanted to.  I still have tendinitis in my foot and it's not healing like I would like it to.

Tomorrow starts a new month for me and new goals.

What have you been up to?

In the last month I was able to loose 5 lbs, get tendinitis in my Achilles tendon, have next years Ragnar cancelled due to circumstances out of my control, have Kaily start school, have Clint start school, learn how to pack a healthy lunch for Kaily and much more.  It's been a busy month to say the least.  My neighbor wonders why I am never home any more and so do I.  I thought that when Kaily started school life would begin to calm down, but it hasn't so this blog has suffered.  What have you been up to since the beginning of August?

random thought

Today I am thankful for eyebrows.  They catch the sweat as it rolls down my forehead and makes it so my eyes don't sting.

A run down of the week so far

Monday was the day UT celebrated Pioneer Day so my family went to the Ogden parade and then we headed to Grandma's for some family time while Clint went riding with his friend.  Because my ankle still hurt I didn't go running in the morning so I could rest it more.  Kaily broke her arm at Grandma's and we spent the rest of the afternoon with her taking care of it.

Tuesday was a great workout.  My ankle didn't hurt and I felt great!  I ran /walked 4 miles and felt really good when I was done, but a couple of hrs later my ankle started to hurt again this time on the Achilles tendon.  So I iced it and stayed off of it the rest of the day.

Wednesday the tendon hurt so bad I couldn't go down the stairs very well or even walk.  It was a forced day of rest.

Today I went back to the gym, we did a circuit ab workout.  It was super tough, but fun.  Although if you heard me at the time I didn't sound like I was having fun. (=  The tendon is still sore, but not as bad and I am wearing a brace to keep it immobilized.  I told Ashley what happened and she told me to just ride the bike, but if it started to hurt at all to stop and not worry about doing more.  Achilles tendon injuries are very serious.  I'm resting the leg the rest of the day and hopefully by next week it'll be better, although after reading about it I might need to see a doctor to get it taken care of or at the least checked out to make sure it's not torn.

BTW  Here is the site link I went to that has been SUPER helpful in figuring out the information about the tendon. http://www.achillestendon.com/default.asp  the site is called EVERYTHING ABOUT ACHILLES TENDONS. 

another lazy day

No walking today, too hot outside.  Ate a good dinner and had lots of good produce from the garden.  Getting up early to run in the morning.  at least I got the other blog all updated and pictures edited.

A few new thoughts...So I have been trying to find balance in life, as I mentioned previously, and I have been praying to figure this out.  My Ensign (an LDS church magazine) came in the mail yesterday and when I opened it up it fell open to this article by Elder L Tom Perry, "The Tradition of a Balanced Life".  While it didn't answer all my questions it did give me the information I needed to push forward with faith in Christ.

Last week I started my workout with a prayer, it has helped a great deal.  I do this because I believe that Heavenly Father knows ME and he knows my heart.  He knows how to succor me when nothing else helps.  He knows my struggles and I believe his heart is filled with sorrow when his children feel ugly about themselves and he wants to help them.  I know that when my children feel ugly it hurts me.  Kaily had me read to her the Max Lucado story, You are Special  the other night for her good night book.  It reminded me of this fact, God doesn't make mistakes and we shouldn't let the world dictate to us how we should look.  I say this, but I have too have a hard time fully accepting it.

My daughter is 6.  She is brutally honest at times and yesterday my feeling got really hurt, unintentionally, by her.  The kids were playing Kung Fu Panda and Conner asked who I was going to play and Kaily in her 6 yr old wisdom said, "Mommy's going to play Po because she has a big fat belly."  My heart sank and I wanted to cry.  She didn't mean any harm by it, she was just being honest, saying it how she sees it.  It hurt though and it has taken some time to come to terms with, but I have and I will store it away for motivational purposes.

A take it easy kind of day

Today has been a bit low key.  I've hurt my knee some how so I haven't done much today.  Also we saw a double feature last night at the drive-in and didn't get home until 2am.  SO, today has been a cleaning the house and spending time with family day.  Tomorrow when my knee feels better I will take the kids on a long walk, and who knows, maybe I still will go on that walk later tonight.

Family Time

We took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2 after we ate Taco Bell today.  We enjoyed it and Conner is doing great with his potty training, he asked to go 3 times during the movie. (=  After we went to the park where I got some running/walking in while the kids and Daddy played on the playground.  It was good day.

A few Thoughts

I was at the gym this morning and was thinking about the video I put up last night.  Some thought come to mind...
First, while I'm super happy for the guy and I think his movement is great I am curious as to why it is that men seem to loose weight so much faster than women.  I know why, I just don't like it.  Next, I was remembering how much easier it was to loose weight when I wasn't a mom.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom, I adore my kids, but let's be honest pregnancy does something crazy to the body and it's never the same again.

Does anyone out there have the problem of finding balance between being mom and being yourself?  I'm really good about eating and wking out about half the time I should and used to.  Before I had a third child I had everything nicely balanced.  I don't know if it's b/c it was just 2 kids or b/c there is now a baby in the equation.  Either way though I can't seem to find the middle ground in working out and being a mom.  I am doing better than I was though, so maybe this is just a learning process that I will get one of these days.  Any thoughts?

One of my new goals is to log in here everyday and post something.  I realize it doesn't have to be a lot of info or a lot writing, just something.

Last, I AM happy, at least happier than I have been in a while.  I'm back to logging my food and trying to stay within a decent calorie amount.

Some inspiration

Gone, but not forgotten

I know it's been a while since posting on here, but life has been busy with Summer time activities.  I've managed to loose almost 10 lbs from my heaviest since the baby was born and I am starting feel like myself again.  I have learned things about myself and had awakenings of things I already knew, but needed the reminder.  Ashley did a great job of pushing me until I broke.  Something I didn't like, but something I really needed.  Life is good and like I said, I'm starting to feel better about myself and where I am now.

I'm still wking on some goals and struggling to get through others, but life is good.

Being sore, pictures and more

I have had my first week of working out with Ashley and I must say she is doing a great job of kicking my butt!  I am more sore than I have been in a long time.  Although I am working hard with her I am finding it hard to get the motivation I need to really commit myself this time.  I don't know what is wrong with me this go around.

Something inside of me is different this time.  I don't know what it is, but it's bugging me.  I feel like crying when I work out and I don't have a lot of desire to go to the gym right now.  I know what I need to do, but I can't really make myself commit to this.  Maybe it's not having a goal to shoot for, like a race or something.  Maybe it's the fact that I've done this all before and I feel discouraged starting over again where I was before I had Corbin.  Maybe it's the fact that I know I'm going to have another kid and so it's disheartening to try again when I feel like I am in this cycle of never-ending torture to myself.

I have found that I am a self saboteur.

There a new pics of me on the pictures page.  Ashley and I will be taking pictures periodically so that I can see changes happening.

I have new measurements and I will post them soon.

Results

I finished the cleanse and here is what happened. Traveling on the last day wasn't as much of a challenge as I thought it would be.  I packed a bunch of veggies, an apple, 3/4 C sliced strawberries with some beef jerky.  we stopped at Burger King for dinner and I got there garden salad with grilled chicken.  Everything comes separate and you put on what you want.  I didn't use the salad dressing and it was really good.

I never knew salad could taste good without the dressing.  Will I eat it that way from now on, probably not, but at least some of the time I will.

I had an amazing amount of energy and felt really good.  The next couple of days I started eating carbs again and dairy.  At first it hurt my stomach, but it was ok after a day.  The other thing I realized was that a high amount of carbs makes me really tired.

So, what now?  Well, I've gone back to my regular diet with some exceptions.  Those exceptions are I eat more often and I eat within a 1/2 hr of waking up.  I also try to get more protein and less carbs in my diet with more veggies and not as much fruit as I had been eating.

The Single Best Ab Exercise You Can Do -- And It's Not A Crunch

Clint and I tried this. We loved how tough it was and that you can feel all the abs working at once.  Click the link below to check it out.

The Single Best Ab Exercise You Can Do -- And It's Not A Crunch

Cleansing day 2

Today I woke up with a headache bordering on migraine.  It was bad.  My neighbors son as talking about pink cupcakes and I suddenly could picture the white cupcake with gobs of pink frosting and my mouth started to water.  I thought it was a LONG day as far as food goes, but looking back at the day it really wasn't so bad.  The temptations are still there, but I feel good over all and the bast part is that from yesterday to day I lost 2 1/2 lbs.

Here is a breakdown of toady's meals.

Breakfast: 2 turkey sausage patties, 1 whole hard boiled egg and 1 egg white, 1/2 cup of sliced strawberries

Snack 1: This got skipped

Lunch: Spinach salad, with about the same ingredients as yesterdays

Snack 2: 4 oz of sliced turkey

Dinner: a great salad with lots of fixings

Drank 12 oz of water, roughly.

I finally took 2 IB at 9:30 so I could function.

Here is how my body is reacting...My muscles have been twitching, I have had headaches, I have felt nausea and lack of energy, I feel lighter and not as tired.  Even though I haven't felt like I've had a lot of energy, I still don't feel like I need to take a nap in the middle of the day.  I'm not working out though, so this might be different if I was.  Tomorrow is my last day and it should be interesting b/c I am going out of town.  Traveling might be tough, but I am determined to stick it out.  The Tuesday I get back I will be back to the gym.

Sugar

Is it possible to be addicted to sugar?  I have a migraine and all I want is something sweet.  My muscles are all twitchy and my head hurts.  This cleanse is doing something and I think I will like how I feel when all is said and done, but right now I feel pretty crappy.

Cleansing day 1

It started out not too bad, but as the day went on it became harder and harder not to snitch a little here and a little there.  I didn't, just so you know.

Today for breakfast I ate a veggie omelet with green peppers, mushrooms, green onions, carrots, spinach and a tomato with 4 egg whites and a 1 yoke.  On the side I had 1/2 a cucumber

Snack 1 was 1/4 cup of unsalted chopped walnuts

Lunch, garden salad: tomato, cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, carrots, spinach and broiled chicken breast with a teaspoon of lime juice over the top.  I also ate a banana.

Snack 2 was 1/4 cup of sliced unsalted almonds

Dinner was a spinach salad with tomato, spinach, 3 hard boiled eggs (only 1 was an entire egg, the others were just egg whites), mushrooms carrots and green peppers.  I put about 2 teaspoons of balsamic vinegar over the top.

Snack 3 was 1 banana

I don't know yet what I'm going to eat tomorrow, but I'm sure what ever it is will be interesting.  Also, in all I drank 15.5 cups of water.

The hardest part about today was not eating my kids leftover mac and cheese.  I put it in a Tupperware dish to save for them tomorrow.

Cleanse

I'm starting a 3 day cleanse today.  It's a metabolisim jump starter.  It cleans out toxins from your body and aids in getting you off complex sugars.  It's mostly veggies and protein.  You can eat all the veggies you want and all the protein you want with only 2 servings of fruit and all the water you can drink.

***Did you know that you should drink 1/2 your weight in water a day?***  I didn't know that until recently.  When you work out you should drink more than that because your body needs to replenish itself.  anything less than this and you run the risk of dehydration.  Most people are dehydrated and they don't realize it until it's too late and they are super thirsty.

As soon as I can get my printer working I'll scan the cleanse in for you to see.  Look for it under the nutrition tab.

May, what does it bring?

May...I can't believe that it's already May.  Soon I'll be saying I can't believe Summer is over.  But for now let's focus on May.  A new month can bring many great things.  It can symbolize the end of old habits and celebrating new ones, it can mean starting new goals or it can simply mean a new month to put off what you know you need to do, but don't want to.  For too many this is the case.  For me it was the case for a long time.  "Oh, I know I need to change things in my life, I just like chocolate too much or I just don't have time to."  Yes, I had those thoughts.  Today though, today means that I'm not going to give up chocolate just because, it means I don't have to eat all my kids Easter candy in one sitting, I can indulge once in a while.  Today means moderation in all things.  I think that is really what it comes down to.  Not GIVING up the things you love, but cutting back a little and noticing you don't have to eat a cow to feel full or satisfied.

I ate a great breakfast this morning of banana walnut oatmeal with 1/2 C strawberries and hard boiled egg whites from the Easter eggs we dyed.  I took that multi-vitamin and drank a cup of water.

Today will be a great day, b/c it's my life and I'm taking it back day by day!

A bit of the old, with some new

I went to the gym yesterday.  It's the first time I've been since Corbin was 2 months.  I didn't do much though, other than get myself a new trainer.  they had a deal going on and I I know myself well enough to know that I just can't do this on my own.  I have a food assessment next Friday in which they will go over a weeks worth of eating with me.  From there I can start the training whenever I want.  For me, what it comes down to, is having someone to hold me accountable for the work I put forth and the eating I do.  Not just on here.  For some reason that person can't be Clint, I wish it could be, but we aren't around each other enough.  For the most part we live very different lives.  I didn't fully realize that until we started doing these challenges for his wk.  He makes it every month doing great while I struggle with it.  It's b/c I'm home with the kids and I fall into that "mom trap", you all know what I'm talking about.  The one that you just end up eating whatever the kids eat or eating off of their plate whatever they don't eat so no food is wasted.  Yeah, that one.  The other thing is, I LIKE food.  Sometimes I would eat just for the sake of eating.  I know that sounds piggish, and you're right it kinda is. That's why I've gained so much weight back.

I am happy to report that as of this morning I am down from 258, which is what it was on April 18, to 249.

First week report

Oh how busy these days seem to be!  We are entering the last month of Kaily's school and there is much to be done.  There are all sorts of activities for which I am to volunteer to go to during the day.  Conner has had lots of Dr appointments and Corbin had his 6 month appointment this week.  I think I've been running most of the day this last two weeks.  It'll be nice to slow down a bit before Conner's surgeries.  So, what does all this have to do with loosing weight?  here is what I am learning; If I don't schedule a time in the day to get my exercise in it will NEVER happen.  My diet was going ok until we all got the flu this week too.  Mine was incredibly mild compared to my husband and Kaily, but I didn't feel like eating or doing much of anything else either.

Ultimately though I did loose 7 lbs and I feel better than I have in a while.  So far this week has not been the greatest for my diet, although I am eating less calories than I was and I have a slight deficit between what I burned and what I ate, which is the goal.  Today may be a better day though, we'll see.  I'm not going to give up on this though, it's slow process and it's all about learning.

Here we go

Here are some of the things I would like to do when I loose the weight/get in shape:

• Go sky diving
• go rock climbing
• Play with my kids without feeling tired
• Play community sports
• be able to do a pull up w/out help
• go kayaking with my dad
• wear a cute swimsuit without worrying how I look in it
• run another 1/2 with my hubby and someday run 1 marathon
• Do a zip line

This list is subject to change at anytime, I may remove some items and I may add some later on.

Day 4 of 30

So far I'm gong about every other day with this thing.  I need to plan better for the next day.  I have managed to have a calorie deficit every day except Monday though, and that is good.  I'm eating better foods, although some of the things I've tried aren't so great while I LOVE other things.  Check out the recipe section for the ones I have liked.

B/c I've gone every other day with this here is what I've noticed.  When I eat the BL diet I feel great and NOT so tired.  When I eat what I want I get super tired around 4:00, regardless if I wk out.

The Begining

This morning it was hard to wake up, I need to go to bed earlier so that it's not so difficult.  It's raining outside as well so in the cave that is my room it's darker than usual thus I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.  If it were not for the fact that I have to et Kaily out the door by 8 am every morning I'm sure this would have happened.  Clint has today left for school and then he is done until Fall semester.  This will make it nice to be able to go to the gym now without excuses.  On top of everything I need to do today I still haven't shopped properly for the 30 day, so that is what I will be doing this morning after I get Conner all set up to go for breakfast and feed the baby.

This is what I learned today...
If you don't plan your meals and shop for them ahead of time you will compromise your health by doing whatever is easy.  Eating out added 1000 calories to my diet today and I realized the reason I have gained so much weight.  We eat out ALL THE TIME.  I know we shouldn't but it's easy and convenient, or so I thought.  There are healthier choices than what I chose, but I think we will be eating at home more often and saving the eating out for special occasions.

This is going to be a great change for the whole family and hopefully Conner will corporate with us in our new way of eating.  I may have a BIG challenge on my hands.

I didn't get to the gym today or do anything else and I realize that my diet today made me feel very lethargic and tired.

New starting date

We got home from our trip a day later than we thought we would and I haven't had time to prepare my house for what is coming so I will be starting this 30 day challenge on Monday April 18.  the goal for the first day is to make it tot he gym and eat ONLY the foods I have on my list for Monday.  It'll be hard b/c I'm going to be eating such a HUGE deficit in calories than I am used to.  It's actually a very healthy # of calories and the number about that I should be eating already.  I would also like to add the recipes I really like on here from time to time, so be looking for that as well.

In this week as I prepare for a new journey with weight loss; I start this heavier than I did before, I'm going to try to focus on a few different things this time.  There is a reason for the weight gain and I need to figure that out if I'm EVER going to make this stay and make it a lifestyle change.  the fact that I had a baby shouldn't, and I don't thin it's really the reason I'm SO mush bigger this time.  Yes pregnancy can play a part, but there are thousands of woman out there who have babies and don't gain 25 lbs AFTER that baby comes out.  There is a reason for weight gain, for MY weight gain.  One of my goals will be to try to figure out why.

One of the other things I'm gong to try to focus on is what I want to do with my body once I've gotten to where I want to be.  For example, make a list of things I can't do right now while being heavy, things I want to be able to do.  the Biggest Looser last night made me think of these things.  One of the contestants said that her world had always been a no world as to things she really wanted to do, and now it's a yes world where being fat doesn't hold you back.  My gift to myself when I get this weight off me that I can't due to the weight now is to go sky diving.  I have always wanted to go sky diving but b/c I've always been overweight I haven't been able to.

With all of these things I hope to be putting some inspirational quotes and motivational things up here.  If you would like to join my journey let me know.  It's way more fun to this together than it is apart and it'll help keep us motivated together.  So, if you're ready, lace up those shoes, throw away those bad habits and let's start moving!

Playlist: The Best Workout Music for April 2011

Playlist: The Best Workout Music for April 2011

Soon to come...

I've been through a lot in the past few months as far as my mental health goes.  Nothing to worry about, just some personal stuff that I've had to come to terms with.  Corbin is almost 6 months and that means I can return to the gym without needing Clint to be home with the boys all the time.  6 Months for me means a kind of freedom.  We bought Clint a new car and now that we both have a car that adds another level to my freedom.

So what's next?

Here we go...I bought the book "30 Day Jump Start" that has a step by step program for me to be on for 30 days.  After that I hope to be able to keep track of my own stuff and figure out my own recipes to make.  I'm going to be journaling on here everyday again, that seemed to help me out a great deal before.  I start everything on April 12.  That is Corbin's 6 month date and when we get back from our trip to AZ.  The other thing that seemed to help was to take pics of myself.  I have gained A LOT of weight back and I'm embarrassed to say so, but in the gaining of the weight is where I have learned so much about me.  I can't go into details right now about the whole thing, but stay tuned and you'll soon see some serious changes taking place.
That's all for now, just stay tuned.  I'll be back to blogging here soon.

Depressed

When you wake up 4 times during the night and have very little free time to do the things you NEED to do because they are looked at like wants.  This is what is happening to me.  I am loosing myself in the day to day while Clint goes to school and wk and Kaily goes to school.  I am finding it hard to find time to do what I need to do.  Clint just started a new job and we are still playing around with the new schedule.  Corbin is 4 months now and I would love to be able to leave him longer that I can, but he is still only nursing and at this point we are just waiting to see when he can start to eat more solid foods.  So all of this might be just a big fat excuse, but it's my life right now and I am back to where I started at in the beginning.